#NewThisDay Writing From My Photo Stream

At the end of the walk, stepping up the path to the gate, a voice in my head has reached a conclusion, she silently speaks:

You have wounded yourself. 

This answer isn't in response to any conscious question I've asked. I supposed I have deliberated on it, chewed over and over this question in my psyche for years.

Why is it this day, here and now, an insight emerges, from a view over the stunning edge of these seaside cliffs, about my relationship to my mother?

The question must be: why did I for so many years believe it was my responsibility to control what I perceived to be her self-destructive behavior? 

The wind is gusting, it is rattling the palms, it is blowing stale ideas off everything standing. I am uprooted and seeing how this idea will change something fundamental in the way I feel, the ways I choose, to connect.

 

All photos and text copyright Kelly DuMar 2017