“The teacher, a Chinese master, would assign them writing assignments so they could really understand what was going on, and when they came into class they had to read. And one of the women, it was her turn to read, and she said, ‘I don’t want to read. All I do is complain. I sit down to write and I just think I can’t do this, and I’m writing, but all it is is complaining.’ And the Tai chi master said, ‘You’re upset, because you think that’s all that’s happening.’”

~ Natalie Goldberg, Upaya Zen Podcast, December 20, 2020

A gray and gloomish sky, and the rain had passed, and all was slushy wet and interesting on the ground: animal tracks and reflections of trees. I listened, as I walked to a Upaya Zen podcast, Natalie Goldberg, recorded on December 20, and I really enjoyed it. The holiday time is almost over. In the afternoon, the sun came out and cheered up the sky. I had a flash prose piece published, First Artists, today, about a trip to the Chauvet Cave museum in Ardeche, France, and seeing the replica of the panel of horses. And, it was time to close off the holiday with a very significant ritual: I took down the Christmas tree and wound up the strings of lights and packed them away for next year. I tried revising the recent poem and gave up. I am complaining––yes, I’m upset because I think that’s all that’s happening.