It’s raining and dark and later than I thought. A day of wonderful high points and gifts and special moments and also challenges. My morning swim, exceptional. Exceptional because I made it there even though running a bit late, didn’t give up on getting there, and had a breakthrough insight about the poetry collection I’m working on with Vanessa. And the Ukraine group: even though electricity is a challenge, all but one of us there. With energy and hope. And my session with Vanessa on my poetry collection was just exactly what I needed. We talked process more than poems. We went to a deeper level. A walk in the woods with dogs and my friend and it was warm and inviting.

In the kitchen I made my mother’s macaroni and cheese casserole. Comfort food. A December evening, and everyone in her own way happy to eat cheesy pasta and I felt my mother helping me feed the family tonight.

I felt the long distance attention from San Francisco that I needed.

I felt strong and invincible about a certain role I play: mother.

I felt strong and invincible about my poetry manuscript.

I led my free write tonight; such a special gathering. I cannot find my little singing bowl that sits on my desk. I have not seen it in a long time and I wanted its sound tonight. The mystery of where it is making music without me may some day be solved. Even so, I feel its vibration.