Gone to seed, like the dream that woke me early - the rush of urgency and powerlessness: anxiety. Being unable to reach a loved one in trouble. I wake, realizing my father is beyond my reach, but he's no longer in trouble, no longer mixed up, no longer vulnerable and confused. In the dream I heard his voice, over the phone line, and even though he wasn't making sense, it felt like contact, long distance, yes, but contact, the way a dream makes you feel as if something has happened, and you carry it around with you, this feeling, all day after you wake.

All text and photos copyright Kelly DuMar 2017